{thank you}

HONEY I'M HOME!!!!! Life lately seems like it's been crazy...fun...boring...monotonus...exciting...strenuous...relaxing...pleasant...miserable...average...WONDERFUL...and just plaing {jaw dropping} when I think about it. How the world can life change SO fast?!?? I want to know where the days of not going to work or sleeping in went! Someone please tell me now!!! But then I think again and I wouldn't trade my life now for anything {well you know...besides being married...HECK I'D EVEN TAKE JUST A BOYFRIEND!!!!!}. I thought I was happy a year ago. I thought that life was as good as it could get. I truly felt like I was on the plateau of euphoria. Then it crashed and burned...smothered for way too long...water didn't help...blowing only seemed to make it burn longer...and hoping that somehow the 'burn' would just go away on it's own only made the will of the fire burn deeper and deeper still. So I guess I'm dedicating this [blog] to my FATHER IN HEAVEN. For anyone who knows my life story in the past few years, you'll get the jist of what it all means. I just want mostly my family to know what I know, to feel what I feel. I can't believe the tender mercies that my FATHER IN HEAVEN has given to me through everything. I {KNOW} that OUR HEAVENLY FATHER knows our deepest desires. HE knows what makes us tick. HE loves me (and you) regardless of the flaws that we have. HE knows our weaknesses {but HE also knows our stregnths}. Satan, our brother, also knows us that well. He WILL and DOES pull us slowly down to the gulfs of MISERY. But even in the bottom of the deepest holes, our SAVIOR is the light which we look up to. We will always look up to HIM. Regardless of where in the pit of doom we are, our FATHER will lead us up. HE does everything in HIS power to help us CHOOSE the narrow but straight path of true happiness. HE stands strong and abiding at ALL times! HE is the one true constant in my life. HIS hands (not only HIS hands but HIS arms, HIS ENTIRE BODY) is standing, waiting for my to take advantage of the eternal bear hug of true happiness, {BLISS}. And that's what it is all about. {Our CHOICE}. I CHOOSE my future, I shape my [JOY]. I am going to let MY SAVIOR envelop me in HIS love, {warmth}, but mostly HIS light. I love my HEAVENLY FATHER. I am in debt to HIS son, {JESUS CHRIST}, a debt that I will never be able to repay. [BUT ONE THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET]. HIS sacrifice is perfect. It is infinite. The {ATONEMENT} is the one way that I will ever be able to return to my FATHER. I want to be able to stand by HIM and hear HIS voice say, "WELL DONE, MY GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT. I LOVE YOU MY DAUGHTER, ALLEE." {and of course a huge ole bear hug}. I have felt HIS warmth and {love}. It is real. Without a shadow of a doubt, IT IS REAL!

I want to thank my family. You all have been my physical reminder of the hug that our FATHER IN HEAVEN is waiting to give us. I love you ALL. {More than you have an idea of}.

This all makes me think of my family. I want to be like our brother, CHRIST. I will {CHOOSE} to hold my arms out, welcoming you, loving you regardless of EVERYTHING! [not that there's anything not to love].

I know we all go through struggles. Whether they are big, or small, public, or private, we all have something to work on.

"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that {when} the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, {when} all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."
*{WHEN} not [IF]
I hope that I can stand like our HEAVENLY FATHER, with my arms open wide, trying to share my light. I will {CHOOSE} not to be like our brother [satan] (I picture HIM with HIS arms crossed, awful grin on HIS face, fooling us. Making us think that a smoldering fire is not what we want, that we need a HUGE BON FIRE!!!)

I love you all. But I want you to know that I love my SAVIOR, my HEAVENLY FATHER, and the HOLY GHOST. I also love our {other} brother. Satan. HE has helped me realize the true importance in life and where my priorities should be. I love him, but I will not follow.

In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry. ~Margaret Laurence

I am sorry. Thank you for all you've done to help me!!

[Fruit]

There's been alot of fruit floating around lately. Oranges, grapes, grapefruit (not sure why they're called that. It should be yellowfruit if nothing else, but then why is fruit after it? Are we going to start identifying all our fruits in this way? We now have orangefruit and grapefruit, and grapefruit?? Wait wait wait, this doesn't work!!) Well I sat down the other day and peeled me a good old orange. It smelled so YUMMY!! As I peeled it, the oils just ran all the way down my arms and dripped off at my elbows. MMmmmMMMMM!!! I finally pulled apart the juicy fruit and closed my eyes as I slowly closed my mouth over a sliver of the ball of heaven. PPPPTHTHthththth!!!! I had to spit it out?!!!!!! It was rotten, or something. It was one of the grossest things I have ever put near my mouth (if you know me then you know this has to be pretty BAD!) I have since decided that my favorite fruit are grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. You know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach or an orange, you’re stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next.

SO.....I always know that my sister Abby will call sometime during the week and tell me about some great sale somewhere. It's great!!! Not that I take advantage of them but it's fun to know I guess. She was making fun of me because I just go to Wal-mart, buy a big tub of vanilla yogurt, a few cans of spaghetti sauce, and a couple of boxes of angel hair noodles and I'm settled for a couple weeks. ANWAYS, after work I went over to her house (Wednesday night girls night because Shane is at the church) and we ran over to Wal-mart because they were having a clearing out sale (or something like that). Abby had gone there earlier and had found all sorts of things to $1. $1.00???? YES! Socks, belts, purses, shirts....I'm not even kidding. So by the time we got there all the good things had been picked through for the most part so we decided to just wander around. We found Christmas earrings for 25 cents!!! Of course I bought some :-) Then we're just walking around and all the sudden Abby makes a sudden left turn and I can see her eyes narrow down as she was approaching the thing that causes her to have such agility....$3 BACKPACKS!!!!!! She bought one for next year for both of her girls and she picked one out that she thought I would like....and I DID! I bought that one plus another one. They're totally different so I couldn't choose. One of the them is a teal? Turquoise color? that slings over your shoulder. The other one is just a good old fashioned two strapper. Very cute. BUT DANG IT FEELS GOOD TO WEAR A BACKPACK!!! I wore it all around the store plus the next store!! It just feels good.......hmmmmm like a huge ole bear hug....CONTINUOUSLY!!!!!! It now is sitting in my car so when I'm feeling down, atleast my backpack will be able to comfort me :-) It all sounds so odd I know, but try it. You'll see.......

"A hug is a smile with arms, a laugh with a stronger grip." ~ Author Unknown

Weddings

Okay for some odd strange reason I've been thinking about MY wedding lately...I DON'T HAVE ANY PROSPECTS (but it's just fun to think about). I want my wedding to be CHEAP, remembered, my day (I know I hate it when girls are like this, bride-zilla, but I do believe that it should be a special day for the bride and groom.), a day for people to remember their weddings, and I want people to walk away that day saying, "Wow today was a wonderful day."



I've also been thinking about my ring. I want it bought off of craigslist :-) They're cheaper...I KNOW I'll lose it eventually and I don't want to feel awful for it so this is my solution. Believe me, if I go through rings like I go through earrings, I'll get a new one every month anniversary.



I've also always said that I would just borrow a dress....but then I think that someday I'll want my own. I don't know. It's a hard one. But I have decided that I will be borrowing one. It's cheaper and really....when would I ever wear my dress again????



I love love LOVE yellow roses...hint hint haha but anyways. I want my colors to be yellow, red, black, and white. Nothing too serious...it's going to be pretty relaxed but fun :-) I've really seriously thought about doing a drive by reception. You'd have the option to park and mix and mingle OR just drive by, drop off your gift, say hi, and get a twinkie or two tossed into your vehicle on your way out.



I've also been thinking about another option. I want to get a bunch of wedding pictures of people I know. My aunts and uncles, cousins, grandmas and grandpas, old and young but just people I know. My reception would then be decorated with all of these pictures. I would make a date with my 'fiance' and we would go to our grandparents houses and our parents houses and record them telling us how they met. At the end of the video we would tell our story. I think it would be fun to do something like that....a blast from the past for everyone :-) But I don't know....kind of sounds like too much work so I'll probably stick with the drive by!!!

"I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
A church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
He said one that would make me his wife."
~Author Unknown

ARRRRRRRR!!!!!!

This one was written for a family reunion....we were pirates and we was lookin' for me treasure!!!!! We dug and big hole after a bunch of games and we found it!!!! But this is all that we found :-(

Alas ye've made it to all o' me friends
Imma sorry to tell ye but this ain't where this ends
Ye've searched and ye've plundered but to no avail
This is only the beginning of all yer trail

But I'll be tellin' ye only one thing...

The treasure ye need cannot be found
For as I's be seein' it it's on top o' the ground
I've lived my life with so many regrets
With too many lies, whoredoms and bets
Diggin' up gold with money to spare
I took on a hottey and selfish heir
And now as I sit here and feelin' incomplete
Me matie from long ago I's like ye to meet
His name be not important as the lesson he taught
The love of a family to my attention he brought
This matie ne'er be diggin' or holdin' a map
He says he knows where he's goin' what a crazy ole chap

"I's spent me time stealin' and findin' and such
Treasure I've found oh yes very much
I have me silver and I had me gold
Enough's to keep me's rich until I grew old
Me's had this feeling I be missin' out
About me riches I had me doubt
I then met me dear lovely wife
She's been makin' me realize I only had half a life
I've got me wife and me dear Sammy
There's be Liza, oh what a feisty one she be!"

This not be makin' much sense to me
So's I ask him more of this family

"I wake each moring to a smile and a kiss
Whether is be from Sam or Liza they ne'er miss
We's always be talkin' and makin' our plans
Discussin' our Lord and chillin's demands
There's be no place I'd rather be spendin' me time
Cuz this family, you see, is mine all mine
We argue and fight forgetting our love
But then we recieve guidance from up above
Supportin' is what we try to do
Each night sittin' and doin' a slight review
We set aside time to be all alone
Praisin' our God for we ain't been doin' it on our own"

The happiness we seek he says he already had
and for this he was always eternally glad
I's been watchin' him waste his life away
Playin' house and cleanin' and doin' whate'er his wifey say
And now as I's be burin' the end o' me treasure
I's finally realize this brought me no pleasure
Me life be unfulfilled, and empty at best
Dying lonely and hated just like the rest
I want a Johnny or Liza to be near to me
A tight-knit family me's would like to be
Me's wish me life woulda been spent laughin' enjoyin' me time
The treasures I had were GREAT but not prime
I's be envying me land lubber friend
But he's once told me that this life ain't the end

"You still have a chance to have all I do
Don't worry my brother you will make it through
There's a life after this and a treasure you'll find there
It's hard at times so I tell ye beware
Gold and silver can ne'er take the place
My family and God I'll ne'er replace
For I'll tell you thing beyond any measure
My family is my greatest treasure."

STARS

Warning: SOME OF MY POEMS DO NOT TEACH EXACT PRINCIPLE! I JUST LIKE TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX AND LET MY IMAGINATION GO. I LIKE TO PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE (or just in a different perspective).

STARS
When I lived in Heaven a while ago
A star being born God promised to show
Eager and excited I waited all day
"He's showing me how to make beauty today!"

I waited and waited til I figured He forgot
I started getting mad and bothered and hot
How could HE leave me here without a warning?
I've been waiting here for Him all morning

It was then that His voice, gentle and meek
Left me there alone, unable to speak
"My lovely young daughter I'll always be here
I hold you close to My heart so I'll always be near.

But daughter it is not I who created these stars
You see, they are reminders, happy little scars.
Each time a child, so dear to My heart,
Leaves My presence or is ready to depart,
to go down to Earth to live and obey
They'll do their very best as long as they pray

But as they leave, a mark is shown
For the world to see and their presence known
A sparkling star to remind them of Me
To prompt them to be all that they can be

The more good they do the brighter it gets
So my daughter live your life with no regrets

Yes, it's your turn to go and make your star
You're honest and faithful, you will go far

Just remember to look up and find the moon
Find out what it means, you'll do that soon
For as you know Christ once went to Earth
He had a mortal and human birth
And as you can see his star shines the brightest
An example to you to be the mightiest

I love you, I'll miss you with all of my heart
But it won't be too long that we are apart
Please my dear just remember who you are
And don't forget to look at your star

I've decided that I'm going to post some of my poems on here....either ones some of you might have read or heard already or just ramdon ones that noone has even seen. I don't keep track of them after I doodle so I figure it might be fun in years to come to know that they are SOMEWHERE!!!!! So it's just a heads up....they might get boring so just skip past them :-) Thanks!